Chill. The fug. Out

Chill. The fug. OutOne of the first things they teach you in blogging school is not to rise to trolls. It’s utterly pointless. You simply cannot win, because they are – contrary to their belief – morons of the highest order, and no amount of reasoning will convince them to behave like regular, reasonable human beings.

However, a couple of things have cropped up recently that I felt I’d quite like to address. Not in an angry, ranty fashion or anything. I’m not mad, kids, just disappointed.

A quick history lesson first of all. When Mobot first popped up at the beginning of 2011, it was fairly brutal. Er, writing for the site, that is, as opposed to the actual content.

See, there existed a vocal minority who called for our heads on a daily basis. “You dont no wot ur talking about IDIOST!” “This site rubshih I cood do betr myselve!” and so on. That’s all we got for months. If anyone was on our side, they sure kept quiet about it. When the positive comments did start trickling in, each and every one resulted in a yay-someone-likes-us three-day bender.

Fast forward 12-and-a-bit months and we have a lovely community of regulars who don’t necessarily agree on everything, but at least they’re willing to have a constructive discussion about stuff.

However, there’s still the odd comment from some wandering lunatic that leaves us shaking our collective Mobo-head. Heck, it comes with the territory when you’re as popular as us (*flexes “muscles” in a tongue-in-cheek fashion*).

The first thing I’d like to mock – and this one really makes me laugh – is the bizarre new phenomenon for dismissing news items penned by yours truly as the ramblings of a man who likes to eat Apple for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

In a recent story, I relayed some statistics about the various app stores or markets or whatever you want to call them, and because said stats painted Apple’s App Store in a favourable light, out came the crazies.

The story was – as it should've been – purely focused on the facts, without a hint of smugness or bias on my part. Heck, I couldn’t care less if the App Store accounts for 91% or 5% of gaming revenue; I’ll go where the good games are, regardless of the OS.

I feel I’ve been quite clear about my love/hate relationship with Apple. Those “If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone” adverts sum it up quite well: I’m left thinking ‘You smug sonsof…’ while simultaneously conceding ‘Yeah, the iPhone’s pretty good.’

I’m neither pro nor anti Apple. Or maybe I’m both? Yeah, let’s say both.

Similarly, while I’m rambling on about Apple, I can confirm that there’s no concerted effort by Mobot to promote or support Apple more than any other manufacturer. We just tell it like it is, man. The iPhone and the iPad continue to do really well. Suck it up.

Indeed, it might surprise you to learn that one particular member of the HUKD network played with an iPhone for the first time – yes , the first time ever – at our Christmas thingy in December there. I’ll take that name to my grave, man, but it was pretty freakin’ funny.

Ok, enough about Apple. I’m not doing myself any favours here!

Next on the menu is the Windows Phone 7 discussion – note: discussion – initiated by Jan on Friday night. Good lord, that was an interesting one.

By reposting a list purportedly detailing “101 reasons not to buy a Windows Phone” (and specifically asking for feedback on said list), Jan incurred the wrath of seemingly every Windows Phone owner in the UK. All 12 of them.

See what I did there? That was a joke; a terrible joke - but a joke nonetheless - aimed at Windows Phone’s tiny market share. It doesn’t mean I hate Windows Phone, and I’ll make similar cr*p jokes about iOS if its share ever falls into single figures (not bloody likely, ‘cause it’s a-MAZING!).

I haven’t named anyone specifically thus far, but I’d like to tip my virtual hat to SpeedyG. He bravely revealed himself as an LG Gil Sander user, and recently joked after Seven embarrassing Windows Phone 7 headlines: “Windows 7 phones can't sell for themselves, no need to troll about it. :-P”

That’s what I’m talking about. Here’s a kid who likes his phone and doesn’t care what you think, because – “at the end of the day” (worst phrase ever) – (a) it’s just a phone, and (b) what does it matter what anyone else thinks?

The moral of the story? You can still be passionate without acting like a maniac. Be more like SpeedyG; take a chill pill. You’ll live longer.

Read more about: iOSWindows Phone

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14 comments

JanSt / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 13:34

Credit also to satchef1 - he actually corrected many of the 101 points, but with dry irony admitted that 50 or so reasons not buy a WP device is realistic.

And does it matter? I'm typing this on a Nokia 701. Plenty of reasons not to get one. But a handful of reasons why I enjoy it right now...

A P.S. - some of Friday's "trolls" had pretty cool usernames, though. Filthy, sure; but cool :D I just never thought MicroSoft fans could be so, shall we say, "carefree"?!

Anyhow...

Ironically, by the way, Tomi Ahonen and some other insiders who know a lot more about the industry than I do, have been posting all 101 points as complete and utter "truth" for close to a week now. I dare not look at Tomi's blog hahaha.

My favourite was the profanity-spewing MS-avenger who threatened to report me to the Ballmer police. My night, of course, was sleepless.

matt101101 / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 16:05

I "LOL'd" reading that thread. People are pathetic.

Also, nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.

Treab  May. 14, 2012 at 16:38

Ahh speedyg... you poor poor sod... owning that piece of crap..

I mean a freaking LG what the hell man... what the hell...

matt101101 / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 17:21

LG + WP7...well if you're going to do something wrong, best to roll it all into one device, eh ;)?

JanSt / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 18:37

.. nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.
Oh, I got one ready, alright... just not now :D

SpeedyG  May. 14, 2012 at 19:17

Lewis is a Windows Phone 7 Troll. Trufax...

:p

matt101101 / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 19:30

.. nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.
Oh, I got one ready, alright... just not now :D

Ooooh, cheeky hint on what it's about :p?

Treab  May. 14, 2012 at 22:02

.. nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.
Oh, I got one ready, alright... just not now :D

Ooooh, cheeky hint on what it's about :p?


inept mods. i proof read it.

matt101101 / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 22:57

.. nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.
Oh, I got one ready, alright... just not now :D

Ooooh, cheeky hint on what it's about :p?


inept mods. i proof read it.

What?

Treab  May. 14, 2012 at 23:04

.. nice rant, Lewis. I love reading a good rant, Jan doesn't write nearly enough of them nowadays :(.
Oh, I got one ready, alright... just not now :D

Ooooh, cheeky hint on what it's about :p?


inept mods. i proof read it.

What?


incompetent... inept ... disastrous moderators...

matt101101 / MOD  May. 14, 2012 at 23:07

Yep, that's us.

Treab  May. 14, 2012 at 23:08

Yep, that's us.

i know ;)

satchef1  May. 15, 2012 at 18:51

Mobile fanboys are comical really. How did we get to a point where people invest so much emotionally in their mobile phone? I just assume it's a manifestation of low self-confidence; the need to believe that they are infallible and couldn't possibly have bought an 'inferior' product.

Personally I take the view of 'does the piece of technology fulfil my needs?' and 'do I enjoy using it?'. If there's missing features that I don't use, then why should I care? I mean, just because the latest, greatest handset can transform in to a rocket and fly me to the moon doesn't mean mine suddenly isn't any good. There's feck all for me to do on the moon. My Windows Phone handset meets my needs. There's a few things missing that I would like to see, and plenty of things missing that far nerdier people care about but that I would never use. However, I enjoy using the handset(s) more than any others I have picked up in the past few years (and I go through a lot of phones, the benefits of having relatives who work in the industry). The feature set might be cut down, but it's cut down to the stuff that I use (I was genuinely surprised to find that that I can't rename photos on the phone after reading the infamous 101 list. In 18 months I hadn't ever tried).

JanSt / MOD  May. 15, 2012 at 19:05

Mobile fanboys are comical really. How did we get to a point where people invest so much emotionally in their mobile phone? I just assume it's a manifestation of low self-confidence; the need to believe that they are infallible and couldn't possibly have bought an 'inferior' product.

Personally I take the view of 'does the piece of technology fulfil my needs?' and 'do I enjoy using it?'. If there's missing features that I don't use, then why should I care? I mean, just because the latest, greatest handset can transform in to a rocket and fly me to the moon doesn't mean mine suddenly isn't any good. There's feck all for me to do on the moon. My Windows Phone handset meets my needs. There's a few things missing that I would like to see, and plenty of things missing that far nerdier people care about but that I would never use. However, I enjoy using the handset(s) more than any others I have picked up in the past few years (and I go through a lot of phones, the benefits of having relatives who work in the industry). The feature set might be cut down, but it's cut down to the stuff that I use (I was genuinely surprised to find that that I can't rename photos on the phone after reading the infamous 101 list. In 18 months I hadn't ever tried).


The thing is: my dislike of Microsoft has very little to do with WP. I have said it more than once:

If a phone suits your need and/or wants, how could I question that?
I really know people who went from iPhones and high-end Androids back to Nokia low-enders. I personally don't care about gps, mobile gaming, cloud-services, NFC.
I don't like relying on Zune or iTunes yada yada yada... Who cares, though?

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