I’ve come to think of smartphone games in the same way. For every Infinity Blade, there are dozens of games deserving of this much attention: none. Guess which category Crazy Fishes falls into.
Admittedly I merely glanced at the press release, fired over via email by my beautiful German colleague, Freyja. Had I studied it closer, I would’ve realised that we’re dealing with another – yes another – match game. Sigh.
With Crazy Fishes, we’re juggling– as the name suggests – fish(es), swimming in from the left, and slotting into a grid on the right. Tilting your iDevice moves them up and down, and you can banish groups of four or more with a tap of the screen.
Crazy Fishes also offers the obligatory selection of power-ups, including one that slows down the fish, one that removes all the fish in a particular column, a bomb that wipes out all fish in a 3x3 square… the usual stuff.
Nothing new at all then. Nothing. Crazy Fishes isn’t bad, per se, but I found myself getting genuinely quite annoyed after just a few minutes of play, a bit like a film reviewer obliged to sit through another slasher flick where a group of model-like teenagers decides the best way to tackle the bad guy is to split up and get picked off one by one before the likeable girl (as opposed to the annoying douche, the jock, the jive-talkin' black guy, the bitch, the geek or the fat one) finishes him off. Utterly formulaic.
Not only are there better match games out there, but also better match games that are free to download. Crazy Fishes, meanwhile, charges 69p – the same price, incidentally, as Angry Birds Star Wars. As such, I can’t imagine who in their right mind would pay to play Crazy Fishes.
I feel like I’m being quite harsh here. As I said before, Crazy Fishes isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just more of the same.
Let’s end on a few positives, shall we? (Skipping past the drab colour scheme and irritating tune). Crazy Fishes offers a thorough tutorial, and – hats off – tilt calibration (take note, Totem Runner). Oh, and it's optimised for the iPhone 5.
And that’s Crazy Fishes. I'm seriously struggling to muster the motivation to grab screenshots, but hit up the App Store links above should you care.
- Tilt calibration
- Looks pretty awful
- It’s 69p
Summary: Crazy Fishes is yet another “match” game, and not a particularly good - or bad - one. Meh.
Price: 69p @ App Store
Requirements: Compatible with iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. Requires iOS 4.3 or later. This app is optimized for iPhone 5.