Next Monday we’re into August, and that means we’ll only have a month and a bit before Apple shares the new iPhone with the world. Probably.
The lack of any concrete information hasn’t stopped the industry from spending an insane amount of time writing about the iPhone 5. Indeed, Apple’s radio silence – god damn them – only encourages the rumour mill to churn faster still.
Personally I’ll welcome the end of the inane speculation; “Some guy reckons it’s coming out in September,” “Someone else thinks it’ll be September too,” and so on. Having said that, the iPhone 6 rumours will inevitably go into overdrive the minute Jobs unveils the iPhone 5. “Taiwanese component manufacturer says iPhone 6 coming March 2012.” Nyoh.
Incidentally, in the interest of clarity, I’ve chosen to disregard the fact that the next iPhone might very well be called the iPhone 4S.
Anyway, in complete contradiction of the assertion that I don’t enjoy writing about the iPhone 5, I’m about to list a few of our favourite iPhone 5 rumours. And when I say “our favourite” I really mean “the most laughable”.
The fact that this story went viral only goes to show just how ravenous people are for news about the iPhone 5. Worse still, several reputable sites reported the story without a hint of irony.
Nailing down the iPhone 5’s release date months in advance is an impossible dream. But that ‘s exactly what a customer sales rep for Phones4u claimed to have succeeded in doing, with a world exclusive straight out of St Albans.
Sales rep Shazna told T3: "The iPhone 5 has been delayed until November following an issue with the handset's software,” and went on to suggest that the iPhone 5 would be: “pretty much the same as the iPhone 4 with new software. The software is the main difference with the iPhone 5.”
So iPhone 4 + iOS 5 = iPhone 5?
Needless to say, our chips were well and truly loaded with salt when that particular story broke. Phones4u was keen to stress that the statement was completely unofficial, describing Shazna as an “over-excited member of staff who is clearly a fan of the iPhone brand.”
I recently had a figurative trawl through Android’s arsenal of QWERTY-toting handsets. Know how many I discovered? Ten. That’s right. Admittedly I might've missed one or two, but that's still a tiny percentage of the hundreds of Android-rocking handsets out there.
Clearly BlackBerry phones are massively popular with the BBM-using yoof, but the difference is that the proposed iPhone Pro would have a landscape sliding QWERTY like, say, the HTC Desire Z, which would inevitably mean extra width and weight in a world where manufacturers are obsessed with making things slimmer and lighter.
Many feel that adding a physical keyboard to a touchscreen phone is a bit of a step backwards. And when was the last time you heard anyone say: “I really love my iPhone, but I really wish it had a sliding keyboard.” I’ll tell you when: never.
There are a couple more iPhone 5 rumours that absolutely demand a revisit, so this seems like a good time to call it a day. I’ll be back on Wednesday with more iPhone 5 rumour nonsense. Bye for now.