A guide to the Nokia Lumia family
Windows Phone 7 handsets all sing from a fairly rigid hymn sheet, and as such the first wave of devices are all very much much of a muchness.
However, Finnish manufacturer Nokia, which proudly declared Windows Phone its “primary smartphone platform” back in February 2011, has released no less than four Lumia handsets since October last year. Is there really any need? That’s what I’m here to answer.
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Everything is rubbish: The great Mobot mobile roast
I like to think I’m quite a positive person. Heck, just a couple of weeks ago, I donned the metaphorical Cap of Optimism and penned Five things to look forward to in 2012.
However, I thought it might be quite interesting for a change to temporarily bin the Cap of Optimism, and instead don the Cape of Hate. Under its influence, I’ll moan about any and all things mobile. Y’know, like one of them comedy roasts? ‘Cept I’m not a comedian, so this’ll probably be rubbish. But what the hey, let’s do it!
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Is Android fragmented? Yeah, mostly
If you skipped Mobot town on Thursday, you might’ve missed OpenSignalMaps’ shocking declaration that Android is – in many ways – a rather fragmented ecosystem. Tell us something we don’t know, man.
However, despite being completely innocuous, said news item yielded the craziest comment/rant of the week. Clearly someone hasn’t read Chill. The fug. Out.
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Almost two months ago, I reviewed the smartphone sensation Draw Something (in a nutshell: Pictionary for your phone), ultimately praising the app but suggesting that – like former sensation Words With Friends – it was a mere social fad.
In the Cons section, I speculated: “No one will be playing it in a few months' time”. What a cynical bar steward. Was I bang on the proverbial money or way outta freakin’ line?
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Chill. The fug. Out
One of the first things they teach you in blogging school is not to rise to trolls. It’s utterly pointless. You simply cannot win, because they are – contrary to their belief – morons of the highest order, and no amount of reasoning will convince them to behave like regular, reasonable human beings.
However, a couple of things have cropped up recently that I felt I’d quite like to address. Not in an angry, ranty fashion or anything. I’m not mad, kids, just disappointed.
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Five things to look forward to in 2012
It’s pretty tough to stay positive in this day and age, what with the economy and the Tories and the continued success of ironically titled shows like Britain’s Got Talent. Ahem.
But I’ve donned the metaphorical Cap of Optimism and come up with five reasons to soldier on; five reasons not to give up and lie on the floor in the fetal position, crying like a demented baby.
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Samsung Galaxy S III? Meh, I’ll wait for the iPhone 5
Well, well, well. After months of rumours and speculation, and not forgetting the heartbreaking Mobile World Congress no-show, the “next Galaxy” – or Samsung Galaxy S III to use its actual name – is finally here.
I’m not sure what we were expecting exactly, but – much like when the iPhone 4S dropped last October – the reaction from Mobotniks seems to be a resounding “meh”. You’re a tough bunch to please.
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Five things that didn’t happen
Our collective blood pressure here at Mobot is off the charts, thanks to the volume of salt we ingest on a daily basis when relaying the latest smartphone news. However, we're duty bound to report even the silliest of the silly.
Whether the nonsense originated from “sources familiar with the matter”, “sources in the supply chain” (a Digitimes favourite), “a trusted source who doesn’t wish to be named”, or straight from the horse’s mouth, our news archives are littered with stuff that simply didn’t happen.
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Stop calling it “the next Galaxy”, argh!
Another appropriate name for this feature might be An impromptu rant about Samsung and its many Galaxy smartphones. Yes, I’m in full rant mode, I’ve just had a cup of coffee, and I’ve absolutely no idea where I’m going with this. You’ve been warned.
If there’s one phrase we’re absolutely sick of hearing this week, it’s “the next Galaxy”. It was specifically rammed home during that “take the next step” nonsense on Monday, where peeps were forced to veeeery sloooowly rearrange the letters as the site melted. Yes, we get it. It’s the next freakin’ Galaxy.
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I’ve spent countless hours playing pinball games over the years. I fondly recall Pinbot (NES), Revenge of the ‘Gator Pinball (on the original monochrome Gameboy), Pinball Dreams (Amiga) and Metroid Prime Pinball (Nintendo DS) among others.
Touchscreen controls and pinball are a marriage made in heaven, so I recently set out to find the sexiest pinball experience on the iPad, and I’m pretty sure I’ve finally found it. The only problem is: I freakin’ hate pinball. It’s rubbish.
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Seven embarrassing Windows Phone 7 headlines
We’ve been accused of being biased against Windows Phone 7 several times of late, which simply isn’t the case. I'm probably not doing us any favours with this Windows Phone 7-bashing feature, but what the hey?
From an entirely objective point of view, Windows Phone 7 launched 18 months ago, and has barely made a dent in terms of market share. That’s a fact, Jack. Also, it’s really hard not to laugh at Ballmer (and Elop).
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Now that we’re finally (hopefully) just over two weeks away from meeting the highly anticipated Samsung Galaxy S III in the flesh, I figured I’d gather all the rumour juice into one handy feature.
The Samsung Galaxy S III rumours started flying almost as soon as the Galaxy S II hit shelves last April, but, interestingly, we’re still not entirely sure what to expect from the imminent launch event.
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Five symptoms of playing Draw Something way too much
I reviewed the latest social gaming craze, Draw Something, a few weeks ago, and suggested it was just a fad. I still stand by that, but - for now at least – its popularity shows no signs of abating.
Indeed, I’ve been playing Draw Something fairly constantly myself, and a few funny things have happened to me that are clearly symptomatic of playing it waaay too much. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in at least some of these. Hopefully.
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Android Jelly Bean rumours abound
The latest figures from Android Developers show that Ice Cream Sandwich (Android 4.0) has reached just 2.9% of all Android devices, but already the industry is looking ahead to the next version of Google’s OS.
It’s thought to be called Jelly Bean, Android 5.0, and given the lack of, like, stuff happening at the moment, we figured we’d do a cheeky Jelly Bean round-up. Crank it.
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The best free iPad games
Having forked out a ridiculous amount of money for the new iPad and an obligatory Smart Cover, I now have approximately this much left over to spend on games: 0 pence.
Lucky for me, the App Store plays host to loads of excellent free titles for the iPad. Indeed, some of the most popular iPad games cost absolutely nothing at all. Good times.
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Review of the week
What the heck happened this week? In the world of mobile? Anything? Jings, I can’t remember a single freakin’ story. Mind you, it doesn't help that I'm, like, 165 years old. Also, we’re totally living in a post-new iPad pre-S III limbo, man.
Comment of the Week goes to Jan, who went absolutely mental when I failed to show a close-up of the Huawei Ascend P1 S, instead opting for a picture promoting one of my many “hormone spikes”. Good times.
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When free games aren’t free
I’ve had a good moan about supposedly ‘free’ games in the past, including We hate you, freemium model, but I’ve discovered a few games recently that’ve set me off again.
There’s a growing trend for games to claim that they’re free, sucking players in with a gratis download before revealing themselves to be infinitely more expensive than games that carry honest price tags up front.
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Review of the week
Did anything major happen this week? Not that I can remember. The Samsung Galaxy S III rumours have gone into overdrive, I guess. Oh, and the new iPad gets a little warm in one corner. Not that I've noticed during my countless hours of gaming.
Things got disturbingly flirty in the world of comments, as blizzard7 and I gave each other “married couple pet nicknames”, and Jan described himself as "slick and desirable". What the...?
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With my trusty second gen iPod touch languishing behind in the specs race, I had the perfect excuse to pick up the new iPad. I was still somewhat reluctant, right up until Submit Order (£514 for a 32GB Wi-Fi only unit with a Smart Cover? Eek!), but I’m glad I did.
For me, of course, the new iPad is a business purchase, allowing me to play – and more importantly review (ahem) – iOS games, and that’s all I’ve been doing this week. Good times.
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As I detailed in Buying the new iPad was not fun, I was one of the first losers in the UK to put his name down for Apple’s latest and greatest. Hey, it comes with the territory, man; I covered the launch and got swept up in the moment.
Indeed, I almost bought an iPad 2 at launch this time last year, but – as I took great pleasure in moaning about for days on end – the shipping time started at 2-3 weeks, and quickly rose to 4-5. And that was the end of that.
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