I have no recollection of downloading Galaxy Defender, but randomly discovered it a few hours ago in a folder called “Freebies”. I’ve now moved it to a new folder called “Utter Shi*”.
Galaxy Defender is a vertical-scrolling shooter in which you’re tasked with destroying waves of alien ships before they reach the bottom of the screen. It’s a tried and tested formula, but some vital ingredients seem to have gone astray.
It’d be an insult to old-school gaming to describe Galaxy Defender as “retro”. It’s stupidly basic, completely bereft of charm and bears none of the traits that made games in the 80s great.
You control your little spaceship with the touchscreen, and every time you let go you fire a red laser beam thingy; there’s no separate fire button. These are some of the worst controls I’ve come across in my years of iPhone gaming. Terrible.
There’s no back story in Galaxy Defender, but presumably the waves of alien craft are heading towards Earth or the Milky Way or something. If you collide with a ship, or if one gets past you at the bottom of the screen, you lose a life. You start off with three, but Galaxy Defender would be all the better if you had none at all. Nothing to see here; move along.
There are no options in Galaxy Defender. You simply choose from Easy, Medium, Hard and Extreme. As you might expect, Extreme is stupidly difficult, to the extent that there’s no point in even attempting it. Sigh.
The sound is balls. There are sound effects for your laser, exploding ships and collisions. That’s your lot. There’s no music to speak of.
On the whole, Galaxy Defender plays like the first effort of someone who’s taken a couple of classes in How To Develop Games For The iPhone, and spent both lessons sleeping at the back of the room. It’s just awful.
- You can leave the app at any time
- The sound
- The graphics
- The controls
- The font on the main menu
- The lack of options
- The stupidly difficult Extreme mode
Compatibility: Compatible with iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. Requires iOS 3.0 or later.
Price: Free @ App Store