Gawd, I hate you, Facebook (mostly)

Gawd, I hate you, Facebook (mostly)Long time readers of our hallowed pages will know that it’s an established tradition for yours truly to take some time – every few months or so – to have a good moan about Facebook. Previous works include Why I hate the Android Facebook app, and I hate you, Facebook and Skype apps.

To be honest, I was all set to have a major rant against Jan’s favourite social network, but I’m kind of in two minds here. Let’s see how this unfolds.

My main gripe was being forced – like everyone else – to update to stupid mother crushing Timeline, which splits your profile page into a lovely big clutter of crap, while allowing a “Cover” pic in addition to your profile shot.

In terms of a crisp, clean UI, it’s definitely a step – if not a giant leap – in the wrong direction. I haven’t heard a single word spoken in favour of Timeline. Indeed, there were numerous amusing – but ultimately hollow – threats of “going back to Bebo”.

To be fair, for me at least, most of the action goes down on the News Feed and in Messages, so I won’t shed too many tears over Timeline. Just one or two. Sniff.

What else is wrong in the world of Facebook? Ahh, the Android app, which now crashes more than ever. Seriously, I’ve had it crash while composing simple text-only messages, and even when restarting after – you guessed it – a crash. Double crash!

I installed the latest Android Facebook update this morning (I was alerted upon spotting “Hmm android facebook, yet again you change and yet again I like you less” in my News Feed), and hoped for something more stable.

Alas, the app crashed at launch. For serious. But hey, what do I care? I’m bailing back to iOS, woohoo! Note: I’m assuming that my aging HTC Desire HD is partly at fault. I don’t imagine all Android users are suffering like I have.

Finally, there’s Facebook’s insistence upon displaying posts in not-quite-chronological order – something that can be disabled in the desktop version only.

See, Facebook thinks it knows which posts are “important”. I’m not entirely sure how it determines how “Bored at work lol” and “I’m pregnant!” compare on the grand scale of importance, but I’m sure there’s some solid logic at work there. Ahem.

Similarly, by default, all friends are set to show “Only important” updates. What the…? Seriously, what are those guys smoking? I want to hear each and every bit of inane nonsense that my friends have to share.

On the plus side, you can now edit posts. Alas, it appears to be a desktop only feature for now. Still, it’s handy for those horrific occasions when you chime in on a thread with 20 people and accidentally confuse “their” and “there” in your haste. There is an edit history, so you’re not entirely in the clear, but it’s better than nothing.

Moving over to iOS, the Facebook iApp was recently given a bit of an overhaul, and the News Feed now zooms around like… er, something really speedy. Seriously, it’ll scroll around just as fast as your finger can move.

Being pedantic, it’s maybe a tad in-your-face (pictures consume the entire width of the display, for example), but it’s mostly good.

Oh, and the aforementioned Timeline actually looks quite nice on the iPad. I think it’s maybe something to do with the portrait orientation (versus landscape on my MacBook).

And so ends another Facebook rant. I’ll inevitably be back in a few months with more. In the meantime, hit us up with a comment if you have a Facebook-related gripe. Or maybe you think I’m completely outta line, in which case you’re silly.

Read more about: AndroidiOS

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JanSt / MOD  Sep. 26, 2012 at 13:20

Privacy invaders should really operate more smoothly .... na na nana naaaah
I hade it, too, and not just kinda (in case you were wondering)

matt101101 / MOD  Sep. 26, 2012 at 13:36

It's the shittest big name app I've ever used on Android. Fact.

ian2606  Sep. 26, 2012 at 14:15

Facebook works ok for me( note with ICS 4.0.4 ). It is a pain having to go into settings every time to enable most recent from important. I don't write much on it but I love seeing how pathetic some people are, I find some posts quite amusing.

sdfdsaffd  Sep. 26, 2012 at 14:19

I just go to - this bypasses the rubbish app.


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