Well, there you go. No iPhone 5. Not a hint. Not a glimpse. Nada. Which means the beautiful mockups we saw were nothing more than fantasy. Long live the iPhone 4. Literally. Because it's still going and is still Apple's device of choice - albeit with a shiny new 'S' on the end and a few tweaks.
Join us as we give you the lowdown of what we expected and what we actually got.
The rumours said: We'll probably see a 64GB version too.
Were they right? Spot on. This was a dead cert really. 32GB is nothing these days and Apple was lagging behind the world and his wife who could use expandable memory to get up to 45GB. With even the iPod Touch having more inside it, we'd have been astounded had the iPhone not been given more memory.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: She gets a full blown snog for accuracy!
The rumours said: Two new handsets for us to get our hands on: One premium and one entry level. An iPhone for everyone. Mind you, those being rumours, they also contradicted each other if you had your sights set on an iPhone 5.
Were they right? Yes and no. Yes to the extent that we now have effectively three handsets to pick from: the 4S, the 4 and the 3GS . One is Apple's flagship and one is a dead horse that is being flogged even more for those on a budget. But that's not what we expected at all. We were all imaging an iPhone 5 as the premium device with the iPhone 4/4S coming in at second place to take the budget mantle. Alas no. Some of the rumours we heard also suggested that the iPhone 5 was plagued with overheating issues because of the new chip and thinner form factor. It could be that the 4S is merely holding the fort. But in the meantime, that's all folks.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG? A few kisses. Just on the cheek. But only in the way that you'd kiss your grandma.
The rumours said: Apple will create the iPhone with a SIM built in to avoid jail breakers and cunning folk getting around network locks.
Were they right? Well if they were, nobody told us. Looks like it's still a micro SIM affair. Nothing to see here. Move along please.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: Slaps. With an old wicker laundry basket
BETTER CAMERA AND FLASH:
The rumours said: 8MP Camera
Were they right? Yep. Gone is the 5MP shooter of days gone by, these days it's all about China's lucky number. Apple blinded us with science but here's what is basically on the table: the camera gets 73% more light, an IR filter, face detection and improved white balance. Apple was also keen to point out it'll take 1.1 seconds to take a photo compared to 2.0 seconds on the dual core Galaxy S2. Remains to be seen if that will still be the case when the camera roll is full as we noticed it took forever to start in that instance on the iPhone 4. No sign of a better flash though. Just your standard LED affair. Booo hiss.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: A nice passionate slowy. And maybe even pay for a cab home for her afterwards.
The rumours said: A5, baby
Were they right? Yep, they were. Remember when we thought the 3GS was the best thing since sliced bread? No more... you can now practically take a photo before you've even taken the iPhone out of your pocket. Apparently. There's no real surprise here. But it's welcome nonetheless.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: A kiss. Definitely. A big one. She wipes the floor with that Russell Grant.
The rumours said: HSPA+4G
Were they right? Yeah... well, kinda. In fact, Apple made a real deal of telling us how fast the download speeds will be on this phone. But from a 3G point of view only. No 4G blazing speeds sadly. Oh well, just needs flash now. Oh, hang on a second.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: Just a blank stare.
The rumours said: Get ready for Siri.
Were they right? Yeah, baby - Siri is coming to live with you and she's never gonna leave you. OK, maybe that's a bit strong but it looks like she'll be capable of some pretty competent tasks. Send a text message? Sure. Play songs by Lady Gaga? Sure. Make me a coffee? Do it yourself. It looked good on stage. We'll give Apple that. But in day-to-day testing, this is going to be so hard to get right. We remember the disappointment of voice commands on the Nexus One and Apple's efforts on the 3GS were almost there but not 100%. Siri better be worth it.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: Who needs to kiss her when we can ask Siri to do it instead?
The rumours said: By October 15
Were they right? Hell yeah. It was actually the boss of Orange France who said that the iPhone would be on sale on his network by October 15. Considering that's a Saturday, we always figured it would launch the day before.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: I think she's starting to get chapped lips.
The rumours said: An all new rounded rectangular gesture button that will rid the world of a need for Gandalf.
Were they right? Were they nothing! Same old home button. Round. Boring. Goes in and comes out. Great for pressing. Not much more.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: Think we're heading into headbutting territory
The rumours said: Two antennas are better than one
Were they right? Spot on here. Who could forget antennagate? Certainly not Apple. And they obviously haven't. The 4S comes with an ability to switch between transmit and receive modes for clearer voice calls (and not actually losing the signal when you deign to touch it).
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: A kiss. Cos she got this one right. Her crystal ball remains intact.
iPOD CLASSIC DECOMISSIONED:
The rumours said: Classic is dead. Touch is the future
Were they right? Well, we think not. We assume the Classic and Shuffle aren't being phased out - but only because they weren't mentioned. This year, it was all about Touch. The Nano gets a refresh and some new watch faces. And the Touch now has a white cousin. But as for whether or not we'll still be able to buy the older Apple wares, we assume that we're safe for the time being.
SLAPS OR KISSES FOR MYSTIC MEG: Put the headphones in her ears and blast her with some white noise.
To be fair, the teacher did always tell us not to listen to rumours. But the problem is that Apple are so secretive, you kinda can't help yourself. Unfortunately, the biggest rumour - that of the iPhone 5 - obviously turned out to be a load of old baloney for now. So for that, we're gonna clunk Mystic Meg around the head with a flash enabled Galaxy Tab (the banned in Europe one.)
Mind you, she should have seen it coming. Bah.