Without a doubt, Mission Impossible is one of the most audacious games I’ve come across on the Android Market to date, largely because it has absolutely nothing to do with the ‘Mission: Impossible’ franchise. Amazing.
As the description on the Android Market says, Mission Impossible features “Gangsters, guns, girls, money, armored vehicle and all.” It’s simultaneously one of the best and worst things I’ve played of late. I love it. I think.
Mission Impossible is a side-scrolling shooter, recalling Rolling Thunder and Streets of Rage among others, and while the individual elements – the controls, the sound, the story – are largely terrible, it’s an absolute joy to play.
The dialogue often makes little to no sense, with some of the worst (i.e. best) Engrish I’ve witnessed in smartphone gaming. For example, our hero, Jack, muses that his bosses must trust him to assign him such a high-profile mission, at which point Shirley, who relays orders to Jack, says:
“I just complimented you but you begin to complain again. Fail this mission then there goes your pay for this month, good luck!” That seems a little harsh! I think the implication is that she fancies Jack. Maybe.
During Mission Impossible’s opening sequence, Jack observes: “Oh, there’s a plane.” Nope, that’s a helicopter, Jack. “Based on my 20 years work experience, I can sense trouble on board that plane, better go check it out!” Absolutely fantastic.
Moments later, Jack gets caught eavesdropping on the baddies: “Oh God, they’ve seen me! Should I escape? Hey forget that! I am a policeman with gun!”
After shooting several baddies, Jack yells: “Haha, That boxing training I attended is finally paying off!” They taught you to shoot guns at boxing training, Jack?
And when a helicopter drops a bomb on our hero, he warns: “Whoa! It is not wise for you to make my blood boiling!”
The touchscreen controls aren’t ideal for games like this, but – to be fair – I’ve used worse. On the bottom left you have the virtual stick, which is used to move left and right, jump and duck.
On the bottom right we have the fire button, and icons to throw grenades and use health packs. Oh, and not forgetting Mission Impossible's special attack, which can be used ad nauseam. You can use said attack to defeat the final boss without taking a hit. Incredible.
As for weapons, there are only three in Mission Impossible, namely the default pistol, a shotgun and some sort of machine gun. Not great, but – on the plus side – you have infinite ammo. Good times.
There are only seven(ish) levels in Mission Impossible, and it lasts maybe an hour or so. You can dip in and out with the autosave feature, with the option to continue where you left off or start over.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I have no idea how the story ends, as I’m presented with a beautiful yellow screen when I beat the final boss. A fitting end to an oddly brilliant game.
- Hilarious dialogue
- Looks good
- It’s free
- Touchscreen jumping is a bit of a pain
- Only three guns
- Very short
Summary: Mission Impossible should be rubbish, but it somehow rises way above the sum of its terrible, terrible parts. A must-play.
Developer: LeTang Inc
Requires: Android 2.1 (Eclair) or above
Price: free @ Android Market