Six outrageous claims that came to nothing – part 2

Six outrageous claims that came to nothing – part 2Last time, on Six outrageous claims that came to nothing, I looked at a trio of quotes pertaining to the HP TouchPad, Motorola’s Moto X, and Windows Phone’s smartphone market share.

Today I’m looking at a couple of conflicting quotes about the Samsung Galaxy S4, neither of which came to pass, while the sixth and final claim recalls a little partnership called Sony Ericsson.

Again, these quotes are presented in no particular order. Let’s start with… the Sony Ericsson one?

Let's dance.

Six outrageous claims that came to nothing – part 2Sony Ericsson Xperia Play: “Cooler than the iPhone

There was a fair bit of buzz surrounding the Xperia Play prior to launch, and Sony Ericsson marketing guy David Hilton did his part in fanning the flames of expectation, suggesting that the smartphone/gaming hybrid was “cooler than the iPhone”. Oh, the humanity.

David’s quote in full: "The first thing this does is put Sony Ericsson firmly back in the game of smartphones. It puts our smartphones out there with the latest Android technology, the benefits of that coupled with the best of Sony technology that make using a Sony Ericsson much more satisfying, much more enjoyable and frankly much more cool than using an iPhone."

Alas, the Sony Ericsson Xperia Play proved to be over-expensive, with lame software support, and fairly terrible hardware design.

Of course, 12 months later, Sony Ericsson had burned to death, and the Japanese half of the partnership rose from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix. True, Sony isn’t exactly challenging Samsung, but it’s put together an arguably impressive portfolio, including the Sony Xperia Z1 and Xperia Z1 Compact; much “cooler” than the Xperia Play.

Six outrageous claims that came to nothing – part 2Samsung Galaxy S4: “One of the most exciting products since TVs went colour

I don’t think we’ll ever forget the Samsung Galaxy S4 launch campaign, which was largely based around creepy little weirdo Jeremy Maxwell, who tap-danced – yes, tap-danced – at the eventual launch event in New York.

Infinitely more offensive, for my money, was the suggestion made by Jeremy’s chauffeur in this here YouTube video.

The chauffeur, who seemingly has a bit of insider knowledge, says: “I know [the Samsung Galaxy S4] is going to be one of the most exciting products to hit the market since TVs went colour.”

Are you serious, Samsung? Are you actually serious? I really hope someone was having a laugh when they penned that particular line. Otherwise, Samsung is clearly getting too big for its boots.

Ultimately, the Samsung Galaxy S4 was an iterative update of the Samsung Galaxy S3, in a same-old plastic case (the HTC One’s design was almost unanimously preferred by critics), and all bogged down with lovely Samsung bloatware (much to the annoyance of Anne Robinson).

Far from being as exciting or as important as colour TV, even Samsung is supposedly keen to move onto the next Galaxy S flagship. Bring on the pre-launch teasing, you delusional maniacs. Maybe the Samsung Galaxy S5’s arrival will be more iconic than the moon landing?

Six outrageous claims that came to nothing – part 2Samsung Galaxy S4: “The Next Big Flop

While the global Samsung Galaxy S4 launch campaign went into overdrive, rival Android manufacturers did their bit to play the whole thing down.

In Times Square, directly above Samsung’s “Be Ready 4 the Next Galaxy” screens, LG ran an almost identical ad with the quip: “LG Optimus G is here 4 you now!” We thought that seemed kinda lame at the time, but I like it now; I can see the funny side.

Of course, comparing LG Optimus G sales to Samsung Galaxy S4 sales is a bit like comparing the number of Jan Stuhlmachers to the number of atoms in the known universe.

Similarly keen to take the shine away from the Samsung Galaxy S4 launch, HTC tweeted: “ off-Broadway is this production? #theNextBigFlop #HTCOne”, though as Pondlife pointed out, the format of the tweet almost made it sound like HTC was predicting the One as the Next Big Flop. Which would’ve been more accurate.

True, Samsung Galaxy S4 sales are rumoured to be lower than expected, but in the same period, HTC went on to record its first-ever quarterly loss, with the HTC One as its flagship.

The moral of the story? Don’t throw stones at glass smartphones. Or something.

Read more about: Samsung Galaxy S4Sony Ericsson Xperia PlayAndroid

Add a comment

JanSt / MOD  Jan. 21, 2014 at 14:09

There actually are more Jan Stuhlmachers than I thought!

Treab  Jan. 21, 2014 at 19:34

I wonder how sammy will sell the s5... maybe 5 tap dancing weirdos?


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