If you have a strong stomach and a spare £3.99 lying around, you might fancy checking out Surgeon Simulator, now available for ye olde iPad.
Surgeon Simulator tasks you with performing heart, double-kidney, eye and tooth transplants, and it’s every bit as difficult and horrific as that sounds, with - thank Jeebus - a generous dose of humour thrown in.
I vaguely recall playing the original Surgeon Simulator – released last year for OS X, Windows and Linux – while slightly intoxicated, but it was every bit as difficult – if not more so – while sober.
The 2013 edition assigned control of Nigel’s one arm to the mouse and keys, with the former controlling direction and movement while the latter corresponded to individual fingers.
Even picking up a pencil with those controls proved an insanely frustrating experience, so you can imagine how difficult performing surgery was. But that was all part of the fun.
I feared the iPad version of Surgeon Simulator might lose some of that charm, and perhaps be too easy. Oh how wrong I was.
Basically, you use two fingers to drag the screen around, and a solitary finger to pick up any surgical – or indeed non-surgical – items. Finally, while holding an object, tap once to set a target at which you can stab and slice and chop away. Gruesome.
In a neat twist, the aforementioned eye and tooth surgeries are brand new, and the eye surgery in particular is hilariously brutal.
If I can take you through it briefly, you must first remove the patient’s safety goggles with scissors then use any “sharp object” to “pop” the eyes. With the eyes popped, we can expose the tendons by bashing Bob’s head with a hammer, before finally slicing the eyes off and popping in two new ones. Easy! Ahem.
All of the surgeries are potentially – or should I say inevitably – bloody, and as such it’s necessary to use the green syringe to stop blood loss, and gas to keep the patient’s heart rate down. Fail to do those things, and he’s dead.
At the end of any successful surgery, you get a rating depending on the amount of blood lost and the time taken, and with the iPad 4 or above, you can record and upload surgery attempts – successful or otherwise.
And that’s Surgeon Simulator for the iPad. It’s debatable whether or not it’s worth £3.99, especially if you’ve played the PC version, but hey, what does £3.99 get you these days? A coffee and a muffin? Go play it.
- The 2013 experience is recreated well on the iPad
- Two brand new surgeries
- Darkly humorous
- Those bloody controls (part of the charm, to be fair)
- Seriously gruesome
- It’s not cheap
Summary: Surgeon Simulator for the iPad does a good job of recreating the charming frustration of the 2013 original, and offers two brand new surgeries. Bloody (literally) good.
Developer: Bossa Studios
Price: £3.99 @ App Store
Compatibility: Requires iOS 6.0 or later. Compatible with iPad.