Earlier today, I scribbled Is your smartphone use driving your partner to cheat? A survey suggests smartphone addiction could push your lover towards a steamy affair, but what about the person using the phone? Are they up to no good?
Complacency is the killer; don’t think having a passcode makes you invincible. Here I’m detailing seven ways your smartphone could reveal your cheating ways.
Slight, er, disclaimer first of all. These seven things haven’t happened to yours truly; they’ve either occurred to me on account of my being naturally paranoid, or – amusingly (to me, at least) – have happened to other people.
Ready to panic, you fiends? Let’s rock!
1. You’ve left your phone unlocked
It doesn’t matter if you’re super-careful, or if you’ve gone all out with an impossible-to-guess numbers-and-letters password. You will, at some point, leave your phone unlocked, as your instincts overrule your need to protect your phone.
Maybe you’ve left a bath running (FLOOD!), or dinner starts burning (FIRE!), but if you leave your phone unmanned and you’ve given your partner reason to be suspicious, it’s Game Over.
2. Your phone displays full notifications
You might have a lock on your phone, but even the briefest snippet of a notification could be enough to give the game away.
Even if you’ve disabled notifications on the lock screen, consider the fact that your partner (your actual partner) might have genuine cause to look at your phone’s display, perhaps if you’ve just taken a picture together, for example.
Admittedly this happened to me, when an ex randomly sent an iMessage asking about something mundane, like an app not working properly. All completely innocent, of course, but still enough to upset the good lady. Look, don’t judge me; I’m friends with all my exes.
If you’ve something to hide, you might want to set your phone up so you simply get badge alerts (little numbers) rather than message previews.
3. Your partner is swiping through your pictures. ALL YOUR PICTURES
I’m sure you’ve all been there. Your partner wants to look at some pictures from a night out or whatever, and as he/she eagerly swipes through them, you worry that they’ll stumble across something you’d rather they didn’t see (in my case pictures of greased up wrestlers in tiny pants; long story).
WhatsApp will potentially betray you here, as it automatically saves pictures to your gallery by default. To undo that, go to Settings > Chat Settings, and uncheck Save Incoming Media.
Bear in mind, too, that iOS 8 now throws deleted pictures in a Recently Deleted folder. Double delete required!
4. You get caught with your trousers down. Literally
I’ve never understood the appeal myself, even when I was a swinging – and surprisingly successful – bachelor, but the youth seem to love sending pictures of their bits and pieces. You might remember the story about leaked Snapchat pictures last year; a huge portion of that content was reportedly of the naked variety. Amazing.
Imagine, then, posing for a selfie with your bits and bobs exposed; try explaining your way out of that one.
5. The other person messages your other half
In this futuristic Digital Age, there are a million and one ways to get in touch with people, even people you don’t know.
Ask yourself if your bit on the side is likely to go mental if/when it all goes boobs up (seriously, what did you think was going to happen?), and potentially spill the beans to your partner via Facebook message or a Tweet.
6. You get fake profiled
This one is a bit of an urban legend, but I’m certain it’s happened somewhere, sometime: your partner sets up a sexy fake profile and actively attempts to catch you red handed, whether on Facebook or Twitter or Tinder or whatever. You think you're messaging a mysterious third-party, but it's actually your partner. Awkward!
Entrapment, technically, but I seriously doubt that defence will save your bacon in Relationship Court.
7. You’ve linked iMessage to your iPad
This one is based on a true story of a, uhm, friend of a friend of a friend. Some guys were out in a club, and as one chap embarked on some ill-advised drunken shenanigans, his friends demanded updates via iMessage.
Little did they know, his other half was tucked up at home with the iPad, reading incriminating iMessage after incriminating iMessage. Ohhhhh dear.