Guten Tag and Willkommen to part 3 of the very worst phones ever to poke us in the eyes. It’s not exactly a complex Stieg Larsson-esque plot we’re weaving together here, but you might want to check out parts 1 and 2 (a.k.a. the impromptu Nokia special) first.
These handsets don’t require any further introduction. They were all rubbish for one reason or another. Let’s go!
The LG C1300 was an incredibly light and compact starter phone. It measured just 3.2 x 1.7 x 0.8 inches, and weighed a mere 80g. With a unique mirrored surface and colourful screen, it initially seemed like a pretty decent option for mobile novices.
However, extended use revealed terrible battery life and hard-to-press keys. Also, unlike its brother the LG L1200, the LG C1300 had no integrated camera.
Oh dear, another LG handset. Don’t worry Lucky Goldstar, Nokia had five in our previous installment.
The LG LX5550 was again intended as a starter phone, and looked like a viable option on the face of it, but it really didn’t stand up well under any sort of informed scrutiny.
The handset was exceptionally basic, with no Bluetooth, infrared port or camera, and a dull screen. And while those features mightn’t have been missed by novices who only intended to make calls, the battery life was pretty poor at just over two hours.
Being different takes balls and has to be admired to an extent, but still, when the gamble doesn’t pay off, rubbish is rubbish.
The Pantech PN-218 looked almost square from the front when folded shut, and the cheap looking plastic shell made the phone look a bit like a kid’s toy. There was a tiny 1in screen on the outside, and the 1.8in internal screen had a fixed landscape orientation.
As a final nail in the coffin, the camera lens was slightly angled, meaning the Pantech PN-218 had to be held in an awkward position when taking pictures. Oops.
Samsung Bang & Olufsen Serenata
Bang & Olufsen are back! In our first installment we looked at the Serene, an insanely expensive phone that was part monstrosity, part work of art.
Not content with their 2006 effort, Danish audio dudes B&O teamed up with Samsung to create a sequel the following year. The result was every bit as audacious as its predecessor.
The Samsung Bang & Olufsen Serenata ditched the concept of keys in favour of an iPod-style wheel. That’s right; no keys at all. When dialling, messaging and navigating menus, users had to rotate the wheel like an old-school rotary phone. Brilliant!
And the fun didn’t end there. The Samsung Bang & Olufsen Serenata retained the screen-on-the-bottom design from the Serene, meaning the 2.24in LCD display was often obscured when spinning the wheel. Oh, and there was no camera.
Best of all, the Samsung Bang & Olufsen Serenata could be yours for the princely sum of $2,000. That’s around £1,250 in our money. Bargain.
Rounding off the list for this installment is Sanyo’s SCP-200.
This flip-phone clearly set out to redefine basic. It had no internet, no call timer, a tiny internal screen, terrible battery life, and – amazingly for a flip-phone – no external display. As such, it was absolutely impossible to screen calls.
Good effort, Sanyo.